Aspergers Write the Same Thing Over and Over Again
As a therapist working with people afflicted by someone else's personality condition, I'yard often asked the question, "How do I know if my partner is a narcissist or if they have Asperger'due south?" This is an interesting question. I did some research in club to give justice to this topic.
For one thing, both are on a spectrum. Narcissism is a personality condition that ranges from mild to severe. In the most severe instances, the person demonstrates sociopathic tendencies or antisocial personality.
Autism also resides on a spectrum. It is a neurologically caused developmental condition. Prior to 2012, people with mild symptoms, considered "high operation," were identified every bit having Asperger's syndrome. With the publication of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), this label disappeared, replaced by autism spectrum.
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Since mirror neurons are part of the encephalon'south social interaction system—involved with social cues, imitation, empathy, and the ability to decode intentions of others—some scientists accept constitute that people on the autism spectrum have a dysfunctional mirror neuron arrangement (Academy of California, San Diego, 2005). It appears mirror neurons too play a function in personality condition-related problems.
An emotionally neglectful childhood, involving parents who did non empathize, may effect in egotistic traits in machismo. It has been suggested that this occurs because of under-utilized mirror neurons in childhood, which leads to dysfunctional mirror neurons in adulthood (Kellevision, 2015).
Here is a tabular array depicting some of the similarities and differences between the 2 conditions. Can you see your loved one's symptoms in either column? Could information technology be your loved one displays symptoms of both?
| High-Functioning Autism (Asperger's) | Narcissism |
| Does not sympathise social interaction | Manipulative |
| Does not do silent handling | Uses silent handling as a weapon |
| You tin say no | May punish yous if you lot say no |
| Does not exercise guilt trips | Uses guilt trips as a manipulative tool |
| Does non sit on the "pity pot" | Feels lamentable for themselves and envious of others' successes |
| Clueless well-nigh damage they cause fifty-fifty though they tin can be hurtful and selfish | Hurts other people's feelings and doesn't intendance |
| Lacks empathy, simply is not malicious | Lacks empathy, and may be malicious |
| Lacks intuition | Has intuition and uses information technology to become narcissistic supply |
| Non connected to their feelings | Hyper-connected to their feelings |
| Tends to be ane-dimensional | Tends to flip into dissimilar modes or personalities (Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde) |
| Does non blame others | Tends to blame others |
| Wants a playbook (structure and predictability) | Wants anarchy and control |
| Triggered past lack of familiarity | Triggered by ego threats |
| On a spectrum from low operation to high functioning | On a spectrum from "normal"-range behavior to psychopathy/antisocial personality |
| Not sensitive | Insensitive |
If Someone You Care About Is on the Autism Spectrum
If you are in a relationship with a person on the autism spectrum, it is helpful to know how to have care of yourself. Here are some tips:
- Be in the right "head space."
- Have charge of your own life. Information technology is helpful to be flexible and adjustable.
- Understand you take to practice things on your own. Your partner will probably non be able to do the things that are important to you—at least non in a satisfying fashion. Rather than getting upset by this, I recommend practicing acceptance. It is liberating to understand the situation and adjust yourself accordingly rather than expecting the situation to suit to you.
- Realize you tin can teach a person on the autism spectrum how to be dissimilar. This volition crave patience and perseverance. Practice not be satisfied with the status quo; instead, arrive at that place and help your loved one acquire how to relate to yous in a good for you fashion.
- Recognize that if your partner hurts you, it is not intentional. Don't take it personally and don't be surprised. They do not do this to be decision-making, feed their ego, or fulfill a personal demand for superiority.
- Research and study autism and learn what you can to accept compassion for your partner.
If Someone You Intendance Nigh Has a Personality Condition
If you lot are with a person with a personality condition such as narcissism, then yous may have similar unfulfilled relationship issues, as well every bit the added bonus of emotional abuse. Following are some suggestions for coping with this type of relationship:
- Observe the person's behavior, don't absorb it.
- Empathise that people with narcissism do not cooperate or collaborate well; you volition have to learn to exist independent in this type of human relationship.
- Exercise not wait the person to always have empathy or compassion for you.
- Develop healthy, happy connections within other relationships. Don't expect them in your relationship with the person with narcissism.
- Recognize that your partner may derive pleasure from hurting you lot. Why may be difficult to understand. Study the concept of "egotistic supply" and you will observe that people with narcissism are "fed" past the reactions they get. Information technology may aid the person feel in control, superior, or powerful.
- Realize y'all may non be able to teach a person with narcissism how to exist different. No matter how much patience and perseverance you have, you may detect nix works to modify the other person. You can just change yourself.
- Research and study personality atmospheric condition and learn to take compassion for yourself.
References:
- Goulston, M. (2011, Nov 17). Merely listen – Don't confuse a narcissist with Asperger'south syndrome. Retrieved from https://world wide web.huffingtonpost.com/mark-goulston-physician/just-listen—dont-confus_b_316169.html
- Kellevision, (2015, August 6). Psychopaths, autism, empathy, and mirror neurons. Retrieved from http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2015/08/psychopaths-empathy-and-mirror-neurons.html
- Oberman, K., & Ramachandan, V. (2007, June 1). Broken mirrors: A theory of autism. Scientific American. Retrieved from https://www.scientificamerican.com/commodity/cleaved-mirrors-a-theory-of-autism-2007-06
- University of California, San Diego. (2005, April xviii). Autism linked to mirror neuron dysfunction. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/04/050411204511.htm
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